Planned Parenthood has recently been defending itself on the basis that five states have concluded investigations of their practices and found no evidence of wrongdoing:

Pennsylvania has found no wrongdoing by Planned Parenthood in the state after a review, according to a letter from the state health department.

That decision makes it the fifth state to announce that they have found no wrongdoing by the organization in the wake of controversial undercover videos showing officials discussing the price of fetal tissue for medical research. Planned Parenthood says the officials are discussing compensation for expenses, which is legal, and not profit.

Well, isn’t that nice? There are only three teeny-weeny problems with this.

First, Planned Parenthood claims that it engages in fetal tissue donation in only two states in the union, California and Washington, neither of which have been investigated. That’s right. In none—as in zero—of the five states that have finished investigations (Pennsylvania, Georgia, Indiana, Massachusetts, and Indiana) does Planned Parenthood even claim to have a fetal donation program in place. So how likely do you think it is that these five states would find wrongdoing concerning fetal donations? You guessed it. Zero percent chance.

In other words, these state investigations couldn’t have dredged up anything illegal concerning fetal donation, since fetal donation programs were not in place in any of the states that have performed investigations. These paper tiger investigations are nothing but good publicity for Planned Parenthood, and at a time when Planned Parenthood desperately needs good publicity.

But that’s not the only problem here. It’s very likely that, even if states were to perform investigations into Planned Parenthood in California and Washington, investigators would magically find no evidence of wrongdoing. Why? Because Planned Parenthood is obviously very good at hiding its activities. I mean, had you ever heard that they harvested fetal body parts? Forget whether or not it’s legal. No one had any idea they were even doing this. That’s how good their PR game is. Additionally, they have by now had plenty of time to prepare for investigations. And it’s obvious that state and especially federal governments have a vested interest in protecting Planned Parenthood from any and all negative legal consequences. Democrat politicians especially have had a long and sordid history of supporting, defending, funding, and protecting Planned Parenthood, come what may. So what will investigations turn up? Probably nothing. Ever.

But third, and most importantly, Planned Parenthood probably isn’t doing very much that is illegal. That is the most horrific part of this whole scandal. If anything, the CMP sting videos have pointed out in rather stark terms just what Planned Parenthood is legally allowed to do. Think about that. It’s legal for Planned Parenthood to dissect aborted baby cadavers, harvest whatever parts they can salvage, perform abortions in such a way as to preserve certain body parts intact, and get recompensed for any costs they might incur. The very idea of all of this might be abominable. But here’s the thing. It’s not technically illegal.

Just think about that. It’s actually insane. An investigator could come in to their lab and see them cutting up and parsing out the freshly dead cadaver of a baby they had just killed and be able to mark down in his little notebook that no illegal activity was going on. That’s where we are, people. That right there. Freeze frame that moment in your minds. That is the United States today.

So the investigations mean nothing. Does it really matter if what Planned Parenthood has admitted to doing is legal? It’s obvious that, if it is legal, it most definitely shouldn’t be. So let’s just stop these investigations. They aren’t necessary.

Planned Parenthood should be defunded because it is involved in horrific, civilization-defying acts of grisly murder. And we’re paying for it, no matter how they shuffle their funds about. Don’t fall for the smoke screen. The problem isn’t even Planned Parenthood. Abortion is a very profitable and legal way to capitalize on the idolatrous self-centeredness of our age. If we don’t change our culture, ending Planned Parenthood will just be cutting one head off a Hydra.