Yesterday it was Trans Jenner. Today it’s Trans Rachel. You can’t make this stuff up. Apparently the president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the NAACP, Rachel Dolezal, is a white woman “pretending” to be black:

Rachel Dolezal serves as chair of the independent commission, in addition to her work as an adjunct faculty member at Eastern Washington University and president of the NAACP local chapter. On her application to serve on the commission, she identified herself as African-American. But public records, including Dolezal’s own birth certificate, list her biological parents as Ruthanne and Lawrence Dolezal of Montana. The Dolezals told KXLY Thursday that Rachel is their biological daughter and that they are both white.

Excuse me for finding this whole thing hilarious. Rachel Dolezal has spent almost ten years pretending to be black, and her recent outing as the most white bread of all white people casts a pale (groan) on all of her rather vocal comments about being black in “Whitopia.” Here’s a classic example from her Facebook feed:

12 Years [a Slave] opened in Spokane tonight. If you haven’t seen it yet, get ready; it will take a hold on you, and you should probably avoid making plans for frivolous social obligations afterward. Probably not the best film to take a white partner on a first date to, just sayin…

In fact, over the years, I have learned the only way to screen a Black-themed film in Whitopia (aka Idaho/Eastern Washington) is to:

1) arrive a little early so you have a choice in seating

2) sit in the top, back row so that if white people are inclined to stare, they have to turn all the way around to do it

3) sit in the top, back row so that during the movie people aren’t constantly looking at you to monitor the “Black response” to the film

4) sit in the top back row so that if someone gets inspired to start some mess, you can see it coming and have a wide aisle and two side exits rather than a row of feet and knees to make your escape through

5) did I mention sit in the top, back row…for the previous reasons and so you will be among like-minded company and not be distracted by white people snickering at awkward or inappropriate moments, get pissed off at them and lose your focus on the actual film.

Plan B: wait for the DVD

This of course leads me to wonder whether a film about Rachel Dolezal is already in the works. Would she consider that a “Black-themed” film? And is it okay if I snicker at “awkward and inappropriate moments” during it?

The firestorm of internet winning over this has not disappointed. Referring to her spray tan, you have a picture of Dolezal with the the caption, “Orange is the new black.” Oof. Then there is the seemingly ready-made “The Dress” comparison: is Rachel Dolezal white and gold or blue and black? Oh my.

All of this reminds me of Robert Downey, Jr.’s character in Tropic Thunder. In the movie, he plays an actor who went through “controversial skin pigmentation surgery” in order to play a black man in the movie. He says, “What do you mean ‘you people’?” to a white character in the film. An actually black character then says to him, “What do you mean ‘you people’?”

Classic. I feel like commenting, “What do you mean ‘you people’?” on every fake black post Rachel Dolezal has ever posted in her decade-long charade.

But the real question here for all the leftists who embraced “Caitlyn” Jenner: why not accept “black” Rachel Dolezal? If Bruce Jenner can be a woman trapped inside a male body, why exactly is it illegitimate for Rachel Dolezal to be a black woman trapped inside a white body? According to Dolezal, who’s apparently fully committed to her persona (and should probably be fully committed in other senses as well, if you know what I mean), blackness is more “cultural” than “biological.”

Maybe so, but her appropriation of black culture seems to have more to do with her intense desire to be a victim than any real affinity for black culture. She has filed numerous claims of hate crimes with the police. All of which were dismissed because of insufficient evidence:

KXLY4 was interviewing Dolezal Wednesday about several hate crimes she’s reported over the last several years. Most recently, Dolezal said she received a packet of hateful letters and pictures at the NAACP post office box in North Spokane. That crime led to rallies of support outside Spokane City Hall.

Police are still investigating, but say in reports that whoever placed the mail must have had access to the box, as it was not processed through the regular mail. Dolezal denied any implication that she was responsible.

Yeah. This story wins the internet today.