Apple to Patent App So You Can Be Even More Oblivious

You’ve probably seen it: people hunched over their phones texting away, walking into things—walking into you. Have no fear. Apple is designing an app that will allow them  to walk and text without hitting anything. Listen to this patent-speak technical writing prowess: An electronic communication device’s camera can continuously capture and present video images as […]

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UGA Sets Behavior Standards for Basketball Team, Angers Liberals

Apparently some people are upset with the University of Georgia (UGA) basketball team coaches for setting standards of behavior for their players. The intrusive, extensive guidelines for life have been called a breach of first and fourth amendment rights. You may think that UGA must have some crazy rules to be getting those kind of […]

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Scientists Discover Stupid Gene

For millennia, we have been told that if you work at it hard enough, you can learn what you need to learn in order to grow and succeed. Not so according to a newly released study from Haprilis Stulte University in Belgium. According to scientists there, some people are permanently and irremediably stupid, and there’s […]

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White House: We’ll Be Dealing with Snowden “Fallout” for Decades

Michael Daniel, the White House Cyber Chief, spoke recently to some Navy Academy midshipmen about the horrible consequences of Edward Snowden’s whistleblowing revelations. In Daniel’s own words: Make no mistake: We are going to be dealing with the fallout from that for all of your careers, and the impact that has had on our national […]

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