Scientists Discover Stupid Gene

For millennia, we have been told that if you work at it hard enough, you can learn what you need to learn in order to grow and succeed. Not so according to a newly released study from Haprilis Stulte University in Belgium. According to scientists there, some people are permanently and irremediably stupid, and there’s nothing anyone can do. The lead analyst from the university, Vernal Jesser, explains:

We had test subjects from the university come in, and we would stimulate their brains with electrodes, and we would be getting good readings all over the neural network. Then other students would come in, and … it was dim. It was like their brains were experiencing a brownout. And it made us think, “Why is this happening?” These were all successful students at the university. Could it be that some people were genetically predisposed to being stupid? It’s the age-old nature-nurture question.

The nurture-nature question may not have been answered, but the study was able to uncover some genetic links to daftness. It turns out that these brain-dead people had what scientists have now dubbed the stupid gene. Dr. Jesser explains:

Speaking in terms of genotype, everyone is a carrier for the stupid gene. It is literally in everyone. But when a particular set of parental characteristics coincide, then the stupid gene is exhibited phenotypically. And let me tell you, the first time you see the stupid gene in all its glory, it will utterly astound you.

But if the stupid gene is in all of us, how can you really tell if you are affected? Well, there are signs, according to Jesser:

Everyone asks the question, “How do I know if I have the stupid gene?” Well, if you are asking that question, you are probably of sound mind. Everyone who came in with the stupid gene was cock-sure he or she was the smartest person in the room. It was quite astounding really. But there are a few initial tests you can do—although the only real way to determine it is through blood testing and neural scans. For instance, if you were able to watch more than twenty seconds of the show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, you probably have it. If you have ever written “Your stupid” as a comment on the internet, you probably have it. In fact, if you are regularly involved in any kind of argument on the internet, you should get checked out. Oh, but I almost forgot the best one—Did you vote for Obama twice? If you did, oh my … Voting for him once is less conclusive. But if you voted for him twice, you almost certainly have the stupid gene. ((April Fools’ Day!))

101 responses

  1. I say we pool some funds together. Then we can ship Bob over to Belgium. Maybe there is a chance they can turn off his stupid gene and he could finally see the light. We all know he has it, as he always acts like he’s the smartest person on the page, on every subject.

    • Finally an explanation for the results of all the inbreeding that goes on in the south AND the tea party!!! Mr Minkoff, obviously has it as does ANYONE that voted twice to “double down” on the very same policies that collapsed Our Banks, Mortgage Industry, Housing Market, Stock Market, Credit Market,Construction Market and Auto Industry

      • And there is all the proof you should need to see why we need to help Bob fly over the Belgium. Let us not be like the liberal Sally Struthers who asked us to feed the starving children in Africa from 5,000 plus miles away, while she is right next to them feed her fat face and not sharing with the child… let us do something good and free his mind.

        • Those “double down” Republicans in Congress are getting double chins from sitting on their pasty white asses all day repealing Obamacare. Paris Hilton is more popular than Congress.

          • You may be right. Liberals are out having sex so they are at higher risk. Christians are masturbating to gay porn or teabagging their family

          • Doing one night stances and hoping to get lucky (liberal way), does not mean you get more action the a Christian in a marriage. You obviously have never meet a traditional christian family. They have the one on a reality TV show I watch it once and do not remember the name. The husband and wife have I think 20 kids (no adoptions, all by them).

          • Yeah, Bobbie, the liberals (men) are out having sex with other men and very ugly liberal women (most liberal women are butt ugly).

          • Do you think that LABotomy and Pocketsocket are incestuous brothers? Or incestuous cousins? I vote for the former Okie neighbor.

          • Duh, dumbass Congress is composed of two parties with the ignorant Harry Reid running the corrupt democrat controlled Senate. So it looks like the public doesn’t have much use for your party of liberal socialists.

          • I was reading the other day where the House has between a 15% to 17% approval rating and the Democratic Senate has a 12.5% rating.

          • I was actually speaking of the Senate! Believe me, I, unlike the average “dummy American voter” keep up with whats going on in our “unamerican govt”! I agree I didnt make myself clear !

          • The HOUSE was the subject of the comment to which you replied. If you intended to refer to the Senate, English grammar REQUIRES you specify you are not referring to the same subject as the statement you are commenting on.

          • Excuse me, sometimes I tend to think people have the same common sense that I have, undoubtedly you dont! If you’re just fishing around on line for people to “declare your superiority over”, you’ve picked the wrong guy! I’m very intelligent and have exceptional word skills and vocabulary, you better find some “left wing imbecile ” to insult !

          • NO, you tend to think people have the same LACK of common sense as you. When someone makes a statement about the HOUSE, common sense dictates that a response ALSO refers to the HOUSE unless there is some indication to the contrary. YOU think that the opposite is true.

            YOU have just proven to the world that YOU are declaring YOURSELF superior to others. I never made any such claim.

        • Just be sure that you book my tickets for the Paddock Club, & 3 days at Hotel de La Source + 1st class air fare (round trip) from LAX!

          • Too late, we booked you at the AnTWERP “Way Down Low” Bath House”, Bobbie. You can check out any time you like….but you can never leave.

          • Btw, Bobbie, your new picture has “gay twink” written all over it. It has that…”no closet could ever hold me” look to it.

      • The gene must develop as the result of butf***ing! All of your “collapses” are directly due to demoncraps and their policies. You need to start using more KY. Maybe you can ease the damage.

      • Demand 1st class. The orange juice is freshly squeezed. Then ask the airline to sit every anti-choice Republican in coach next to a screaming baby.

        • I’d take a screaming baby over a lamebrain liberal any day of the week. At least I’d get intelligent conversation from the baby instead of insane drivel from a crazy ignorant liberal. Somebody like yourself you loon.

        • And again we hear from one who supports the murder of babies; nor there truly is a prime example of not only the stupid gene, but the stupid gene combined with the immoral gene.

      • I’ll be damned! You do have a redeeming quality, you’re a Formula 1 fan.
        What do you think of the new engines?

        • Boobie, the socialist parasite continues to rein just to attack American citizens. We should ignore socialist workers against America, they are begging for attention and can only get it by attacking those who are better than they, constant irrational attack which damaged brains continues to produce, they are helpless, they cannot help it, ignore them. Stop wasting your time on this drivel!!

          • If you think the result of a socialist in the white house would be the stock market doubling, corporate profits soaring to all time highs & the real estate market going through the roof then you’re just another low information idiot that repeats words that you don’t understand

    • paul, we can send Bobbie to Belgium, but I hear the Belgium gay community don’t like the American West Coast gays. They claim that the west coast gays do not bathe very often.

    • No they checked who voted and who they voted for in the last two elections. And the ones who keep voting for Rino’s.

  2. According to scientists there, some people are permanently and irremediably stupid,
    In other words if you’re a liberal and support Obama, you’re permanently and irremediably stupid.

      • But you know all about science. You probably learned it at The University of East Anglia or at the knee of Paul Erlich. Geebus, you are one of the single most ignorant persons I have ever not met.

      • @ LABobE:
        You REALLY are trying to prove this story, aren’t you.
        Here’s a free lecture that can be applied as a test for stupid people.
        Liberals try to paint all Conservatives as close-minded, Bible-thumping devotees who are anti-science. However, most liberals have no clue what science is or what it does (or is meant to do). Liberals have tried to appropriate science to their ‘side’ in an effort to assume the intellectual high ground. However, liberalism is underwritten by relativism (whether it be Cultural or Epistemological), a position that is diametrically opposed to science, which departs from the position that there exists an independent reality separate from our perceptions of said reality. Utterly senseless sayings such as, “You have your world/reality and I have mine” are a creation of Liberals and is what most liberals resort to when losing an argument (which would be every time they’re arguing with a non-liberal). The fact is that liberals are anti-science, while conservatives believe in the premisses that give rise to science. Religious conservatives are a different breed who should not be dismissed or belittled just because they find meaning in adhering to a moral code that they believe comes from our Maker. After all, liberals simply are not equipped with the intelligence to understand the difference between facts and meaning; they confuse both notions while insisting that they’re smarter than the rest. For examples of such dummies, see any video of Pelosi or Reid speaking or any video at all of pres Oduma: He’s just got that “light’s on but nobody’s home” look on his face, as though he’s high and at the local “In-and-Out” trying to keep a straight face while he makes a purchase.
        Okay, now, here’s the test to see if you’re stupid or just a misguided conservative who thinks he needs to act liberal or else his friends won’t like him (in this latter case, you’d be spot-on stupid for not thinking of simply getting new friends): How many times did you vote for Oduma?

    • For that you don’t need any research. If you voted for Obama twice your driver license should have permanent stamp, with bold red letters, that’s says “STUPID”, because stupid is forever.

    • Let me get this straight. The people that believe in science, knowledge, education, reason & logic are the “stupid” ones & the superstitious people that believe in fairy-tales are the smart ones?

      • No. Those who believe in anthropogenic climate change are inherently and genetically stupid. They are also naive, ignorant and closet anti- American communists who just want to harm this country. The entire “theory” of anthropogenic climate change is a fraud and a scam. There is no valid, objective data supporting this hoax. If it is “real” why don’t you activists go after the worst polluters, like China. Oh, that’s right! You communists only bellyache when you can attack free enterprise and capitalism. I wish you could be made to live in one of your communist “Edens”. You’d be whining to get back America in a heartbeat.

      • No, the ones who actually think it is getting hotter are the stupid ones. There is no climate change, it is not happening. The Earth’s average temperature has risen less than one degree in the last two decades. Please prove your global warming.

      • I’ll add to that the point that you believe in climate change (named that because it’s not getting warmer) and you apparently believe this stupid gene story is true.

      • @ LABobE:
        To whom are you referring as the “people that believe in science, knowledge, education, reason & logic”?
        It sure as hell can’t be liberals. Liberals (including you) generally don’t know what science does, what knowledge is, how to reason (without ending every argument with “Well, you have your opinion and I have mine”), or what logic implies.
        You simply aren’t having a good day here, labobe. Perhaps you’d feel smarter returning to Nickelodeon, Dora the Explorer, or, to REALLY feel smart, go to a liberal blog, where you ALL believe the same garbage.

  3. WOW!!! A stupid gene, there you go- Science has also discovered that every liberal, communist (Democrat) has that gene!!!!!!!

      • Stay active, stay vocal, fight and show displeasure with EVERYTHING these “socialist aggressors” do or say! obammi is a far more dangerous enemy to our nation than Hitler or Mussolini ever were!

  4. This is undoubtedly an April Fools joke! Firstly, as LOGICAL as these assertions may appear; and, as apt as some of us are to think, that this may indeed be true, especially as applied to ANYONE who votes for a Democrat, the body of the text here never defines ‘stupid’ quantitatively; and, the LACK of hard data as such gives this away as being nothing more than a poorly contrived effort to mock something, or somebody! But, ‘what’ or ‘who’? It doesn’t take much reading here, or ‘in-depth’ thought, to stray into the path of the obvious problem, that truly mentally challenged people (to be painfully politically correct) do indeed have chromosomal damage. I am certain that the author was not trying to even go in that direction; but, being a medical professional, that is ‘NATURALLY’ the path, that my thought processes take, when you start trying to make these types of unfounded scientific associations! I wouldn’t doubt that Mr. Minkoff is bending over backwards trying to undo the damage he has just done to his journalistic integrity!

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