Nicholas Wig, World’s Stupidest Criminal

Nicholas Wig was trying to rob a house during a rain storm. He got soaked while he was breaking in, so he took off his wet clothes and shoes, then rummaged around looking for valuables. He found some cash, some credit cards, a watch, and an old phone or two, and was heading back out of his victim’s house when he noticed a computer.

He looked around and didn’t notice anyone showing up, so he thought he had time to check his Facebook page for a spell before he made his clean getaway. He surfed around a bit. I don’t know what his status update looked like: “Just robbed a house and got a pretty sweet watch. Feeling—Excited.”

Anyway, he got up from the computer (which he left behind—maybe it was too much to carry) and walked out of the house, presumably in his victim’s clothes and shoes.

Later that day, the victim, James Wood, came back to his house. He found it, as you would imagine, in a state of considerable dishevelment. His watch and credit cards were gone, and some idiot had left some sopping wet clothes and shoes on the floor. He noticed his computer was still there, so he roused it from sleep and noticed something very peculiar—Nicholas Wig’s profile page. The thief had forgotten to log out of his account. So Wood posted another status update on Wig’s Facebook profile. CBS reports:

Wood posted to Facebook using Wig’s profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his [Wood’s] phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day.


“I replied you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you,” Wood said.


Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen.


Wood, at his friend’s house, left for home. On his way back to his house he saw and recognized Wig, from his Facebook profile, walking on the street. He immediately called police.

That’s amazing. Just another example of the fact that the criminal lifestyle doesn’t attract the sharpest tools in the tool shed. But, don’t get me wrong, it does attract some real tools.

14 responses

  1. Hilliarious! Thanks to Public education that no longer teaches thinking. How entitled do you have to be to believe that the person you just robbed would give you back the wet clothes you left at the scene of the crime?

  2. He sounds like a nice criminal. I hope they are nice to him in prison, if our current justice system is successful in getting him there?

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