How to Keep Kids off Coke

By Coke, I mean the dangerous, highly addictive, life-threatening substance we must be protected from at all costs. Not the white powder that got Biden’s son kicked out of the military. Apparently, inner city kids drink a huge amount of sugary beverages, and the civil government, which is apparently responsible for these poor parentless kids, […]

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What Postage Stamps Can Tell Us About Obamacare

The US Postal Service will destroy an entire print run of new stamps because they apparently encourage unsafe behavior in children. The “Just Move” collection of stamps was commissioned to encourage juvenile philatelists (wherever they may be) to exercise. These stamps depict young people engaging in all sorts of healthful activities like biking, skateboarding, swimming, […]

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U.S. Citizens Detained for Smuggling…Chocolate Eggs

Justice prevails: two Seattle men were detained for a few hours by U.S. Customs when they tried to smuggle …chocolate… into the United States. That’s right. These menaces to society were trying to bring [gasp] Kinder Eggs into our fair country. Everyone knows those particular treats have little choking hazards inside them: choking hazards disguised […]

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