Doomsday a Good Day for Beer

I am a fan of good beer. Right now, I have a special beer in my fridge that’s part of Stone Brewery’s Vertical Epic series. It was brewed on 11/11/11 and is not supposed to be drunk until 12/12/12. But there’s a problem. The Mayan Calendar says the world will end that day. (Or was it the 21st?) Let me tell you why I’m not worried.

First off, why do people want to use the Mayan Calendar to predict the end of the world even though we don’t use the Mayan Calendar for anything else? Is the slated Doomsday taking into account the fact that we didn’t count year AD 0–1? What about the fact that we lost a few days in the West when we switched from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar (Britain had no September 11 in 1752… it was one of eleven “missing” days)? I just want to make sure that we’ve calculated Doomsday accurately. I wouldn’t want to have already missed it. Oh, wait… turns out they found an old Mayan calendar that goes way beyond 2012. Doh.

It may be a little early to be talking about all this, but, come December, it’s gonna be all over the place and I just wanted to slip in before the airspace gets supersaturated. There are good reasons to be confident that the world isn’t ending any time soon, and they’re good to repeat even if you already know the difference between astrology and astronomy.

Back to beer… A. E. Housman said, “Malt does more than Milton can to justify God’s ways to man.” John Milton wrote Paradise Lost as a theodicy—a justification of God’s goodness in light of the reality of pain and evil. If you’ve ever talked to an atheist, you’re probably very familiar with the argument: If God is good and all-powerful, why does He allow evil? A. E. Housman’s answer? Beer. God is looking out for us. It might not look like it from inside this short life (AKA, an approximately eight decade bout of terminal myopia), but God has given us all the proof we need that His ways toward us are good and right (e.g., beer). To reiterate, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin Franklin didn’t say that, by the way. He preferred wine.

And God Himself had some other words to say on the issue. Right after the Flood had subsided, God made a promise to Noah (who also preferred wine): “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.” The normal, natural cycles of the earth are going to continue on until God finishes telling His story. And from the looks of it, that story is far from over. I mean, come on. It was four thousand years to the climax… don’t you think God might be a little more patient than we are? I don’t think even an Obama re-election in November could precipitate the end of the world. (That was the directly political portion of this post, by the way… in case you missed it.)

So Lord willing, come December 11, my twin daughters will turn five. And December 12, I’ll be celebrating another fine day on this good earth with a delicious beer. And lest you think I’m recommending sloth over industry: I’m not saying don’t work. I’m just saying don’t worry.

0 responses

  1. Personally, being the conspiracy minded intellectual that I am, I think the Mayan calender thing is a conditioning tool to convince the masses that something is going to happen. Something that is already in the works like say an imminent financial collapse? Or a war between Iran and Israel, or maybe a nuclear terrorist attack. It is kind of funny how all these threats loom while we face the possibility of world destruction on Dec 21. Another thought, the Mayan prophecy speaks of the galactic alignment. One night while gazing at the stars I noticed that Mars, Venus, an unidentified body and the moon were all in perfect alignment. Finally, I also remember the hysteria with the Y2k thing and how the next day everything was fine. Was it though? I mean the 21st century has brought with it predictions of doom and gloom for a long time, and 1 year and nine months after the scare of y2k we know what happened.

    • Why would a war between Iran and Israel bother YOU or the U.S.? It’s their war – let them fight it. A financial collapse – we’re already there – the Stock Market – which makes money off of suckers and send manufacturing jobs to other countries – is just picking peoples pockets with it’s ups and downs every few days.

    • I agree with as this subject is being used as conditioning for the dollar collapse that not a matter of “if” but “when” it’s going to hit. If you look at history when the British Sterling collapsed in the 70’s and the aftermath when the dollar replaced the pound as the global reserve currency. It is about to happen to us but only 10 times worse. Think of the rammifications if you wake up one morning and the dollar is only worth 20% of its current value? The real reason we are going after Iran isn’t nukes at all. They are currently setting a new oil exchange where petrodollars don’t exist and global purchases can be made other currencies and gold and silver as well. No one is reporting on this in this country, after all, the best way to devalue a currency is to not let any one know it’s about to happen. Just like the British did.

      • “Think of the rammifications if you wake up one morning and the dollar is only worth 20% of its current value?”

        Are you aware that, since the Federal Reserve Note was first “legalized” as public currency in 1913, it’s already lost 96% of its value from that time?

  2. Human beings love to think of the doomsday scenario as often as possible. Remember the year 2000? Look at all the movies mad , that made millions for the hollywood morons.

  3. When is doomsday? I have no idea. I can just see Mayans laughing about what people will think when their calendar runs out. As far as Beer, any day is a good day for Beer 😀

    • there aren’t any mayans left,they were either killed by the spanish or crossbred into what comes streaming over our borders at all hours of the night.therefore we must make or purchase enough of this beer to sit on the southern border til the end,drink all night & repel all that would bring their doomsday up here thus screwing us out of future beer.

      • Lol the Mayans weren’t around when the Spanish landed in Mexico, that was the Aztecs. No one knows what happened to the Maya. They mysteriously disappeared, seemingly without a trace, but left their cities intact. The Aztec, migrating southward, found the empty cities & believed them to be a gift from their gods, thus they settled them

        • Actually, according to my Uncle, a retired Missionary, (from Boston), who spent 50 years in Columbia, Bolivia, and has retired at the home, clinic & community center he built outside of Quito, Ecuador; some Mayans DID survive, but migrated to the Andes in South America. Yes, it wasn’t many, and they did intermarry, but there are a few Colonies in the Andes that still practice, likely watered down & mixed with other Aztec, etc societies, some remnants of the Mayan Culture.

    • This is not aimed at you, Doc, this is just a good place to post this comment.

      For all you believers in 12-12-12 doomsday, I will buy your property (as long as you own it free and clear) on 12-5-12 for all the beer, wine and/or liquor you can drink until 12-12-12. Hey, that’s a whole week!!!

      I’ll bet I get no takers on this offer. Because no sane person really believes in
      doomsday.

    • I’ve read where there was another Mayan calender found, that goes well beyond 12/21/2012, but I still agree with your last sentence, Paul. Pop ! Guzzle ! LOL !

  4. You better drink that beer now. If that jerk in the White House gets re-elected he will likely come to take the beer and anything else you own.

  5. The Mayans or any other group have no control of God’s plan for this earth. It will not be destroyed until the end of the Millennium; after the Lord Jesus Christ reigns on earth for 1,000 years and after the Great White Thone Judgment of all unbelievers. Learn what the Bible says and one will not have fear.

    Is 41:10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

    II Tim 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and discipline.

  6. If Obama is re-elected – it may not be the end of the world – but the end of the Constitutional Republic of the United States of America – as we know it.

    • 44rd11 that’s for sure,muslims don’t drink beer,at least in front of witnesses no matter how good it is.therefore lets make sure he only gets elected to latrine duty.

    • I’m not so sure our Republic wasn’t destroyed in 1913. 16th Amendment to “feed the beast.” 17th Amendment to allow permanent Senators bought and paid for by lobbyists. And the Federal Reserve to perpetually funnel our money to banksters through the insidious “inflation tax.” All ushered in by DemocRAT Woodrow Wilson and his DemocRAT controlled Congress … all in 1913 – the year of American infamy.

  7. All Bible prophecy has been full-filled so the world as we know it should be ending sooner than later. No one knows when, but people need to be prepared.

  8. The Mayan calender actually says nothing about “doomsday”. It is simply the end of their long count calendar.The Mayans believed in cycles for everything & according to their religion, so to speak, the Earth had been destroyed 4 previous times & thus reborn. For such a primitive people, they were extraordinarily accomplished astronomers. The planet Venus was 1 of their main focuses as they tracked it constantly & even accurately predicted to the day the transit of Venus that took place earlier this year. it is logical to assume that their calendar is slated to end on that particular day because it will coincide with another astronomical event that has most likely happened before, allowing them to predict its re-occurrence. 12/21/2012 is supposed to be the day the zodiac comes full circle, which occurs only once every 26,000yrs. This will result in the planetary alignment of all planets in our solar system to line up with the blackhole that is spinning at the center of the galaxy. There is no evidence to support that anything catastrophic will happen… or that it won’t happen for that matter lol. The only thing the Mayans believed would happen for sure, is the rebirth of their most beloved king, whose name ecapes me at the moment, partly bc its difficult to spell lol

  9. After seeing some of the events of the last year, a person may be wishing for the end of the world, just to straighten things out. Isn’t it Miller time somewhere?

    • When I spent time in jungle country, we did not drink water, but beer, within reason and against standing orders. ” Kept mosquitos off our skin”.

  10. Actually the myth that mayan calendars said doomsday is on the 21st of December has been debunked by a find of a earlier ruin. Make mine triple yeast beer please.

  11. Persian 4th century philospher and poet Omar Kayem said, drink now brothers and sisters,once your dead you shall never return.

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